P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
