its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
only you would photoshop your dick
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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