WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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