I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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