i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
