I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
