Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
