Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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