this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
