Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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