hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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