It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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