Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
