i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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