I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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