I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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