So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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