i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize