We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
