Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
