i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
