Kiss
Puke
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
