I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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