My room smells like vodka and shame
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
