i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
