Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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