weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
