fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize