Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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