So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
