My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
kristin has been a bad kristin
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
FUCK WHALES
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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