I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
