so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
