My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
