Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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