You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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