with your own penis?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
