I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
