We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
