It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
