I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
