new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
