So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
where does the pee come out of this thing
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
