if you like me you must not know who I am
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
