Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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