Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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