I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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