What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
