No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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