ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
