Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
