I've blown a few things in my day
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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