i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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