i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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