and next time when you feel me up, do it right
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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