I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
