this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
