Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
