Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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