Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
