I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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