I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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