Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
