Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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