i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You've changed since you got that strap on
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
