i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
