I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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