ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
